It's Official

Ok, ok. Hold On. I know you are all hooting and hollering and thanking God, but let's not get ahead of ourselves. When I say "It's Official" that doesn't mean anything more than we have ourselves a court date y'all. On March 15th, we have a hearing with Judge K in Kampala, Uganda.

The string of events after that will unroll in whatever pattern it chooses so there is not much to say about that. If all goes as planned, we will have a hearing, we will get a guardianship ruling, we will get a visa and we will bring her home. Somewhere during the process of all that we will also be taking Maggie for a physical, blood work, visa photos, etc. It can be exciting considering we plan on taking her out for ice cream after her doctors appointment like every good parent does!! But in all seriousness, as common place as those things are to us, they can be terrifying for a child who has never seen anything outside the 5 mile radius of her town. Even our son, a born adventurer, had trouble taking it all in. The exhilaration of being in the city was quickly forgotten when he squirmed around under the heavy grasp of his soon to be father as the doctor pinched his tiny finger between his own trying to get in a quick prick of a needle. I know, just a needle prick. But when you've got a kid who is doing his best to trust that you are going to take good care of him when you snatch him from everything he's ever known, and you betray his trust with something scary and slightly painful with no common language to explain the situation?! It's kinda hard. It makes your heart hurt.

As much excitement as there is that we will soon have a daughter, there is an equal amount of emotional pain coming our way. I pray every day that God is preparing Maggie's heart for this transition and I trust that he is. That doesn't mean she will be absent of pain, it just means she will have the courage and wisdom to come out of it a stronger person. If you know me at all, you know that I am one to think positively, but not one to sugar coat anything. Adoption is amazing, beautiful, redemptive, all those things you expect it to be. BUT, for Maggie, and many other older adopted children, there is a grieving process. Her situation may be dire, but it is everything she has ever known and loved. She has 7 years of life in the country of her birth. Her heart beats to the rhythm of those drums and her bare feet dance on that fertile soil. She is, and will always be, Ugandan. "America" is not exactly everything she may dream it will be. "New Parents" aren't necessarily better than old ones. And in the midst of the awe-inspiring way children adapt to new environments and the unbelievable way they flourish with a safe and nurturing family, that doesn't mean she won't cry out for the one that is most familiar to her. I've found through Perez, that comfort is often just to sit on your bed together and cry. When they hurt, I hurt. When they weep, I weep.

Not being prone to cheesiness or emotional mushiness and rarely quoting "overly-quoted" passages of scripture...at the opportune moment...as music swells in the background...I'm going to anyway (see this as the overflow of a pregnant mom who can't get her emotions in order...you have a tiny place of empathy in your heart for that right?)

"There is a season for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:

a time to be born and a time to die

a time to plant and a time to uproot

a time to kill and a time to heal

a time to tear down and a time to build

a time to weep and a time to dance

a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them

a time to embrace and a time to refrain

a time to search and a time to give up

a time to keep and a time to throw away

a time to tear and a time to mend

a time to be silent and a time to speak

a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for PEACE."

From Uganda (flying out March 11th!) with love,

Ali