Day 2

She's home, and yes, I realize I haven't even tried to post anything yet.  There will be pictures to come of some "first's" in America, but for now just words.  We've been settling, as much as you can settle with two energetic and lively Ugandan children running around a 1,000 square foot condo.  Of course, we've already visited the beach and already overcome Maggie's first verbalized fear.  She looked right at the waves and said, "Don't take me there.  I fear."  After some nice gentle pulls on the hand and a little nudge to put her feet in the water, her face changed from fear to pure joy.  A little ocean will do a lot of good for a fearful little girl, even if it means you are just putting your feet in.  As I mentioned in a much earlier post, "I come to the sea to breathe."  Maybe Maggie comes here to breathe, too.

I know many people have opinions about how much to expose their adopted children to in the first weeks, months and years, but it is quite possible that those opinions are just that, opinions.  In a full two days, Maggie has already done some grocery shopping at a huge supermarket, looked for some clothes at the mall, went to the beach, scootered at a local park, helped her family move out of their church building, peeled carrots and chopped veggies, met a ton of people, stayed at home by herself (ok, with her brother!), watched some movies, read some books, petted a bunch of dogs and changed clothes about 8 times.  She has been busy and overwhelmed and tired and yet, she has also been managing things very well.

We are all doing the best we can to roll with everything.  So, all I can say after day two is that we are floating along in the river God has placed us in and we are still keeping our heads above water.  But like I said, it is only day 2!  

En Route

So, my family is officially en route.  Not sure where in that maze of atmosphere they are right about now, but I know they are getting closer with every minute.  All things considered, I am surprisingly calm.  There are many things rattling around in my spirit.  It's not the rattling that makes me unbalanced, but the bumping into each other that usually causes the uprisings.  So, for now, things are moving, but not bumping, and I am at peace.

Had an amazing and very honest talk with Perez last night while we shared my bed.  God has gifted this boy with an ability to understand the deeper things of life at an early age.  We were sharing our feelings about the last night of him being an only child.  He said he felt terrible.  He said he didn't want to be a "double child", meaning to have a sibling.  He said he didn't want to share us, his mom and dad, with anyone and that he doesn't want to have to share his toothpaste either.  And that he didn't know what to do when he felt this way.  I hinted at the fact that sometimes when we are in this position of uncertainty there is nothing WE can do.  But someone can.  That someone is an almighty God who is orchestrating this thing in the first place.  You gotta take it up with him!

We talked about how amazing Perez's story is and that because of his part in that story he will have a deeper and richer character, a better understanding of love, and a spirit that shines even in the challenging times.  He looked at me and said, "Mom, I'm gonna have a lot more gray hairs after this!"  I cracked up.  We both rolled around laughing for a few minutes, which was a good relief from the tension of the earlier conversation.  The thing is, he does already have three gray hairs!  We joke about them often.  But, the other thing is, he wasn't hinting at the fact that this adoption and his subsequent life change were going to make him feel older, but that he is going to come out of it much wiser.  He got it.  Not just in his head, or on his head, but in his heart.  And as I prayed, he squeezed my hand and drifted off before I even said, "Amen".

The family dynamic is changing, but the heart continues to love with the same passion it had in the beginning.

From San Diego and the airspace above Europe with love,
Ali  

One Week

One week.  7 days.  A standard measurement of time that takes up the same amount of space on everyone's calendar.  The experience of this time, however, can change drastically depending on what is currently happening in one's life.  For the Denney family, those 7 days are the only thing remaining between a family of 3 and a family of 4.  Steve AND Maggie come home on August 4th, exactly a week from today.

I'm not even going to take the time right now to muse about the process of this adoption and all the emotions etc. that have been entangled in it (better saved for a time that I am not loathing to slip out of this chair and into my bed...which, by the way, is currently being occupied by a 10 year old boy who has been laying in his bed wide awake for the last hour and a half only to come into my room promising that he will fall asleep if he can share my bed...at 11:45 I couldn't care less ).  What I will say is that, as much as I have been blowing off and smoothing over comments like "Are you excited?" or "Are you running like mad to get things ready?" with an air of major motherly competency and coolness, the reality is sneaking up on me.  

This is huge for everyone.  Each family member has different emotions, insecurities, fears.  Feelings about coming, feelings about going, feelings about what is being lost or what is being gained.  Fitting in to roles that are expected or roles that are imagined.  Really, when it comes down to it, we are all a mess...a beautiful mess...a perfect composition in the art of "adding-a-member-to-your-family" mess. 

That being said,  we can't wait for you all to meet her!

From San Diego with longing and Uganda with love,

Ali

Hoot and holler everyone...she's coming home!

Short and sweet...Maggie has been approved for her visa!  Steve is in Uganda on other business but also working out the last few logistics.  The embassy still needs to issue the visa, then all is complete.  I can say with (almost 100%) confidence that our daughter will be coming home with her dad on Aug. 4th.

Sula Bulungi (Goodnight)
Mukama Yebazibwe (Praise the Lord)
From San Diego...and Uganda...with overflowing love,
Ali

The paperwork has been sent

On Tuesday, exactly two months after we received our Request for Evidence from USCIS, we sent our paperwork back to be reviewed for a final decision on Maggie's Visa.  I never anticipated it would take that long.  We had plans to send it earlier, but that just didn't happen.  Everything was complete weeks ago, we were just waiting for two documents.  I told myself everything would happen in a timely manner, but recently found myself exhibiting the same antsy-ness as my 10 year old stuck at home on summer break with no one but his mom to play with!  (Yes, 10 year old.  Can you believe it?  He turned 10 on June 1st.  Time flies!)  I was getting anxious, knowing that our hopeful timeline of Maggie coming back with Steve on July 31st was getting less and less hopeful as the days passed.  I realize that I am not a nice person when I am anxious.  I suppose I can't really say that I am an overly nice person anyway.  I've always secretly envied the "nice-ness" in others when I just can't seem to get rid of my stubborn "know-it-all" edge.  So in times of anxiousness you can imagine how things play out.  All that being said, everything is now out of our hands.  It is nothing but a waiting game at this point.  I wish I could say how long this will take.  All I know is that USCIS says they process these things as soon as the papers reach their office.  The hope is still that Maggie can return with Steve on July 31st.  We are looking forward to an August full of new things!  Thanks to everyone who has been asking about the process and keeping us in prayer.  Continue all of those things!  We greatly appreciate your support as we wait.  

Request for Evidence

This past week I have been sitting at my computer much, much more than I like to.  But what has made it bearable is that I have been working on things that better the future of our little girl.  This picture has been open on my desktop for the past week reminding me, every time I feel frustrated, that good things are in store.

As many of you know, we have been given a request for evidence from the USCIS office in Nairobi.  In order to review our case and give us a visa, the USCIS needs us to provide more evidence that Maggie fits the definition of orphan.  Since receiving this request in late April, we have been doing our best to make sense of even the most minute details of the laws regarding this type of Visa.  At first the task seemed daunting, but thanks to friends who have already gone through this, and other lawyer friends who are willing to look over our case, I feel like we have a good solid shot at this.  The past four days I have spent almost the entire 6 hours Perez is at school, sitting at my computer typing up our response to the USCIS and checking and double checking to make sure things are accurate and evidenced correctly.  The good news is, Maggie definitely fits the definition, which means there is no reason they shouldn't grant her a visa.  We just have to prove what we already know to be true.

I hate to say this right now, being that we have absolutely no concrete evidence to support it, and I don't really want to get anyone (including myself) overly excited, but we believe that if all goes in a timely matter, Maggie should be able to come home with Steve when he returns from his mission trip to Uganda at the end of July!  Like I said, don't start cheering yet.  Sometimes these things can drag out.  But, please continue to pray that we endure through repeated interactions with USCIS, that our case is granted a visa and that we are able to wait patiently.  Keep our dear little Maggie close to your hearts as God prepares her for a lot of new changes.

From San Diego with love,
Ali

Back to School

Today went a little different than I had planned. We ate breakfast, packed Perez's lunch and dropped him off at school for the first day back after Spring Break (and for us...the first day after a long trip). A month ago, I had envisioned this day with another participant. I would get both the kids up, we would all eat breakfast together, we would have the excitement of Maggie's first day, I would pack two lunches, I would walk both kids into class and introduce Maggie to her new teacher. Okay, okay. I know this is a little too angelic for the first day back to school with two jet-lagged kids, one of which isn't feeling much like going back and one of which has never even been there in the first place, but please, just give a mom a moment to dream.

After letting Perez out of the car my heart sank a little. I watched my son walk in to school alone. Only a few weeks ago I pictured this exact situation with Perez walking past the gate holding Maggie's hand. Life has a way of painting new pictures for us. We can't help but think of what the future holds. We can't help but envision what may happen. If only we could truly live in the present, than maybe the future wouldn't look so good that we wished we were already there.

Standing in direct opposition to this train of thought is one that suggest the future breathes hope into the present. I would probably agree, but ask me on a different day.

I have resolved, for however long or short of a time this lasts, to play the cards as they come. That's not to say that I'm not still thinking about tomorrow, but more so that I will also still think about today.

From San Diego with Love,

Ali